“Pandrora and CBK's Chamber of Horrors” at Torment and 95th
There at Torment and 95th I began one of my strangest home reviewing experiences to date. I knew what I had come for; it was known that this was where Pandrora and CBK had built their Chamber of Horrors.As I came upon the property however, I couldn’t see a thing… and yet I could. I knew their property was there, but I can’t recall any memory of its appearance. As soon as I would walk away I’d forget, then return to remember and forget as soon as I walked away again. I even tried writing down what I was looking at once, but each time I’d walk away the paper would disappear with my memory. I tried to send myself an email on my smartphone, hell I’d even taken a picture, but both things vanished from the digital world the moment I left the premises leaving the visual description of the actual property forever a mystery.
I couldn’t just leave it that way. I had to try to get in at least, to write some sort of a review. I needed a drink to clear my head of the cloudiness sobriety often caused me. The nearest pub was The Freudian Slip and by near I mean, 10 blocks away. I took a break from failure to do something I never lose at and it was there at the bar, 12 drinks later, that I got more than I’d hoped for.
As I went to a quiet, shadowy part at the far side of The Freudian Slip to discreetly vomit I noticed a door briefly, before doing what I had went there to do. After wiping my mouth on my sleeve I decided to inspect this would be ordinary concrete door if only because of how promising the worn blood stains seeping from under it seemed and for how challenging the securely bolted lock looked as it dared me to try and forcibly release its grip. I’ve never been one to turn down a dare, often to my detriment, but my deep sense of adventure long ago destroyed my natural survival instincts. Ignoring a hastily written note strongly warning me that it would be a mistake to enter, even signed with a blood smudge, I pulled a sledge hammer from my back pocket and began to make short work of it.
When upon opening the door I was shocked; truly and thoroughly shocked. It was a door to Pandrora and CBK’s Chamber of Horrors. Was it THE door, was it a portal, had I just drank too much again? I didn’t know, but I did know that it was what I was looking at… at the time anyway. I still can’t remember what that place actually looked like, but I will never forget that all too forgettable door and the most unexpected of places that I found it at so far from reason.
Later as I reflected over this experience I was unsure about leaving it as it was. I called Shikon who, after listening to my discription, confidently assured me that I must have stumbled upon "The Secret Door". A part of me knew I shouldn't tell anyone, otherwise it wouldn't be a secret anymore, but we're all close friends here, aren't we? What's a secret between friends! Besides, I didn't want to be alone in my disappointment. Now it belongs to all of us!
Creativity:2 out of 5
Unique Name: 2 out of 5
Ease of Travel: 1 out of 5
Welcoming Nature: 1 out of 5
Curb Appeal: 1 out of 5
“Pandrora and CBK's Chamber of Horrors” Overall Rating: 7 out of 25
[A nondescript concrete door rests quietly in the shadows at the far side of The Freudian Slip. Several deep red splotches stain the floors and wall nearby, as if something had once leaked through the cracks of the doorframe. These marks, however, are so faint it appears that someone has spent hours trying to remove them.
An intimidating lock securely bolts the door shut. Hanging near the door handle is a hastily-written note, not so subtly suggesting a prompt and hurried departure. The corner of the note seems to be smudged with something strongly resembling a bloody smear.]
